Its a bird, its a plane, nope its not even Superwoman…its a tired, physically sore, emotionally drained, lifeless, unrecognizable version of yourself.
Many woman suffer from what I term as Superwoman Syndrome. You know…the woman who does it all simply because she can. From working either at home or away from the house, planning every meal, scheduling every appointment, knowing and taking care of everyone’s needs in the home. Moments of adrenaline rush and satisfaction of her cleverness, all-knowing, all-saving power are overshadowed by unmeasurable pressure, loneliness, unappreciation, and poor self care. Just because we CAN does not mean we SHOULD. We are not only enabling our partners to not do their share but also setting poor examples to children that further leads to unfair gender roles and unrealistic expectations.
Here are 3 tips to help you remove your Superwoman cape and take time to pour into yourself. To be the most effective in your home, career, and relationships is to FIRST show up for yourself, advocate for help, and simply learn to let things go. You don’t HAVE to do EVERYTHING!
Show up for yourself. What does that really look like? Well it can be as simple as recognizing you need to eat, take breaks, put your phone on DND, sit in your thoughts, turn up the radio and sing your favorite song. Just be there for you. Take time to think about what you really need and want and go for it. Women, especially mother’s have the tendency to put everyone’s else’s needs before their own. We must make a point to make our needs a priority so that we actually have the emotional capacity for others.
Advocate for Help. Yep, I said it. Even the best super heroes had side-kicks or leagues. A big mistake women make is to assume that someone knows exactly what they need so they don’t bother to ask…they just get mad when their partner doesn’t do it. ASK! Don’t assume, don’t fall into trap thinking that you do it better by yourself. Maybe you do but is it REALLY worth your extra energy and time to prove a point? We have to learn how to reach out and ask for support. You weren’t meant to carry this burden alone.
Let that ISH Go! It DOES not and will NEVER be perfect. Trying to control your environment and making sure everything is perfect is exhausting. Does every single solitary dish need to be washed at 11pm at night or can rinse it off and get to it later? Time is of the essence you only get one moment in time…choose it wisely. Your house will never be clean enough, your clothes will always need to be washed, but your children will only be little ones for a period of time. Your partner will not always be by yours side. Chose your time wisely and what is beyond your control or not important…let it go so you can focus on the things that are.
This are just a few simple light hearted tips to help with the Superwoman Syndrome. Its best to speak to therapist if you experiencing feelings of being overwhelmed, anxiety, sadness, loneliness, and distress. Everyone’s situation is unique and counseling can give you support for your particular needs.